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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in
GirlFags and GuyDykes and and Friends and Lovers' LiveJournal:
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|Tuesday, January 10th, 2012|
|Wednesday, December 28th, 2011|
|Tuesday, December 27th, 2011|
Hi everyone ^^, I am from germany, I am glad to see that I am not the only one who feel that way , its so great to give your feelings a name <3
|Monday, November 14th, 2011|
Memoir coming in the fall, finally
A few of you have expressed an interest in my memoir, "Girlfag: A Life Told in Sex and Musicals." I've been shopping it around to publishers for a year or two, but the industry is running scared right now (and rightly so), and nobody's too interested in a literary memoir about what they think is a niche sexuality. So, I'm going to self-publish it under the imprint Beyond Binary Books. I've started a FB group for it at http://www.facebook.com/groups/266988160014719/
; hope you'll join us there. As it gets closer to completion, I'll post notices of landmarks here (cover design, reviews, news, etc.), but if you're interested in more frequent postings, you should join us on FB. Hope to see you there!
-- Janet W. Hardy
|Friday, November 4th, 2011|
Sooo... I didn't even know that any of this existed until five minutes ago. :D
It's amazing though. Just... I was that girl that dressed like all her guyfriends, even when I was little, for the most part. Pink generally disgusted me, oddly enough. Until we all knew better, I was one of the guys, albeit the extra-sensitive one. I always felt a little... well, off. I didn't realize what exactly was off until a few weeks ago: I honestly feel like a gay guy stuck in a (very) female body.
So here I am, 18 years old, feeling like I'm in the proverbial closet, once again. (Yeah, I came out of the bisexuals' cabinet 2 or 3 years ago. Woo!)
What's up guys! Current Mood: nervous
|Thursday, November 3rd, 2011|
Songs that resonate with you...?
I heard Book of Love's "Boy" come up on Spotify Artist Radio today and it reminded me of a more somber side of some notions I had about myself and men / masculinity long ago...Does anyone have favorite songs that resonate with you as a girlfag / guydyke / or other queer identity? The Killers - "Andy You're a Star", Depeche Mode - "Boys Say Go", and Pete Shelley - "Homosapien" are a few that were important to me when I was younger (and still).
|Wednesday, October 5th, 2011|
Bad news :(
Unfortunately I had problem with my provider - to tell the truth I almost became the victim of some debt collection cheaters - so I had to delete my homepage http://girlfags.chapso.de
- - we are working on building up a new homepage again.
|Saturday, September 24th, 2011|
A longer answer to the discussion in the last post:
I think the problem with the term is that queer politics have shiftet. In the late 90s, when the term was coined, the whole queer movement was using terms like fag, dyke and so on. Girlfag and guydyke were first coined by people who were deeply involved with the LGBT political movement as lesbians or bisexuals (See the book Pomosexuals). Today's girlfags or guydykes often pass as straight, or at least that's how it looks to LGBT who hear the term.
Add to that that the times have changed. The world has become a rougher place. It's not as playful as it used to be, and it's back to sheer survival again. Many younger people don't get the anything-goes politics of the 90s anymore (which is sad, but understandable). Like with the discussion about the term "tranny" and who is allowed to use/reclaim it (trans women: yes, gay men: no), there is the general rule now, that only people who have suffered directly and regularly from these slurs are allowed to reclaim them. If you follow the discussion you will see that there is a lot of truth in it.
To understand that we, as people who pass or have passed for a larger portion of our lives as straight cis men or women in the world don't know what it means to reclaim the word "fag" or "faggot" please read: http://www.bilerico.com/2009/10/i_have_a_problem_with_faggots.php
It's easy to "reclaim" a term that has never been used against you in that way. It doesn't hurt us to say these words. We don't cringe. I know that I felt very uncomfortable when lesbian drag kings started calling themselves faggots and sissies, and making fun of the whole thing while I was visiting gay male friends in the hospital after near fatal gay bashing.
And this doesn't even go into the question of border wars between gf and gay trans men.
While I don't think that we should obsess about terms and somewhat artificial boundaries, if we ignore these developements, we just behave like some LGBT expect us to: like priviledged straight voyeurs. It's important to be involved in LGBT politics if we claim a place in the community.
The problem for the girlfag/guydyke community is that it has barely reached the point where the identity/term is widely known. When we now start to switch to a new term, it might put us back- I have no idea what to do with this situation; we have discussed it in other groups without coming up with a solution. We do need a term that is internationally recognizable so that people can find information. Guy dykes have "male lesbian" at least. But "female gay" doesn't work.
The crossdreamer identity is a really great developement, but I think the term is too vague to describe girlfags and guydykes, though they certainly belong under that umbrella.
|Wednesday, August 24th, 2011|
There is another name for us all, 'crossdreamers'.
There is a forum called crossdream life. At the moment there are only male crossdreamers, but there is a growing number of female crossdreamers/girlfags on the site. It would be awesome for more input from the girlfags if you all are willing to share your stories. At the moment there is about 200 guydykes registered on it, and we all need to join forces and unite!
so anyway, check this out and write something about yourselves!http://www.crossdreamlife.com/index.php
|Sunday, August 21st, 2011|
i thought i would finally introduce myself after some thorough lurking on this community. Ive just turned 21, im male and in university in London.
I think boydyke is pretty accurate term for myself. i always knew something was different about me, but could never really identify what it was. Im sporty and athletic so I was kinda led into quite heteronormative social groups. I row so all my guy friends are very macho. I can socialise really well with both guys and girls, and most people would think im just a normal straight guy. However when my guy friends start talking about 'doing' or 'nailing' some girl the night before, i just cannot relate.
i had a girlfriend last year, she was awesome and i fell in love. However what she wanted me to be was a dominating strong dude who could objectify, dominate and make her feel desirable. I love girls but the dynamics sexually are completely reversed for me. I want to be the one thats desirable, Id love to be the sexy one who is objectified. Because im sporty, athletic looking and quite good looking, girls like me, but what they want is something completely unnatural to me. i was always very confused about who I was and why I wasnt the same as all my friends until this year. I wish I was pretty, not good looking, and sexy, not domineering. My fantasies all involve me being sexy and passive, I can be both male or female, but its more about being super feminine.
Im not really sure how i should go from here. I feel an innate femininity that I have repressed for so long, and id love to let it out even with just one person. Id love to meet an assertive beautiful girl who I could be feminine with and love. i have no problem being male, and at times like my body, its just that I feel very jealous for how girls can present themselves. If i could become a bio girl instantaneously, id probably do that as I feel that I could express myself better, but id love to reconcile the femininity with my male body. Id love to look like those really pretty girly feminine gay guys. But thats so hard when even if i wear a hairband on my wrist, Im immediately rediculed by the girls that like me and my guy friends.
Anyway, Ive decided i need to change my ways and try to live more free.
Nice to meet you all! xxxxx
Dont hesitate with questions or start a conversation with me on LJ or by way of firstname.lastname@example.org, I want to meet more girlfags and fellow boydykes! xx
|Monday, August 8th, 2011|
hi. I have just accepted that I am only interested in girlfags. It was like a torture to live until now. For years I tried not to accept what I am. But I am fed up now. what I really desire is to find my soulmate soon. But I have just learned the words girlfag and guydyke. I dont know how tosearch and where to find. I am only interseted in girlfags. I mean biological women and I feel as a female inside a male body. I dont feel anything to biological men. I would like to be the wife of a girlfag whom I can love forever. I didn't have a lover before. It is difficult to share my situation not only with other people but also with myself. I feel miserable. I hope someone can help me. Thank you very much for reading this.
|Monday, July 25th, 2011|
Hi! I'm so happy to have found me, and now, to have found you! I am a 35 year old biological female. For the longest time, I just felt I just did not fit in anywhere. Not with my girl-friends (who were just too naturally girly), not with my straight boy-friends (who for the most part were just very interested in groping or penetrating some part of my female body). I had many het relationships, most of which failed, because I felt not quite like a woman. Was I a lesbian? I thought about it for a while, and observed my lesbian friends. Nope, not like them either. They were too boyish. They liked sports. I liked pink, and glitter, and platform shoes. Sigh. Then, it dawned on me. The people I felt most comfortable with were my gay male friends. I did a recount of all of my past boyfriends and partners- all shared characteristics of being markedly feminine- although not openly gay. My current partner, a het male, always gets hit on by gay men- and me. So, anyway, it's great to be here, and I hope to learn a lot from all of you! Current Mood: happy
|Friday, July 15th, 2011|
you all sound a lot like me
Hi. I'm a bisexual man. I'm 46 years old. This group is very interesting because I feel like many of the posts, even though they were written by women, could have been written by me. When I was younger I was interested in crossdressing. But I almost never did it because I was ashamed of it and I felt it led nowhere and I didn't know what it meant. As I've gotten older the desire to crossdress has faded and I've become more and more comfortable thinking of myself as a bisexual guy with a strong feminine side that loves to express itself, but within the context of being a man. If a genie granted me three wishes I'd asked to be turned into a beautiful woman and the other two wishes I wouldn't need. That being said I am very comfortable being a man and have had many wonderful experiences you can only have as a man. And I fit in with men well and would never be considered a sissy, unless I wanted to act that way and be seen that way.At the same time I like to be allowed be effeminate. I think my male body is beautiful and I would never want to do any gender changing things to harm it in any way. Although I would like to get a body wax and a pedicure and wear cute, pretty, preppy male clothes. When in Rome do as the Romans do. When you're born a man, enjoy the aspects of being a man. I more and more think of men a lot and realize I think they are very sexy. But I have more in common with women so would always want to be in a relationship or be married to a woman, with or without a boyfriend. Has anyone seen a Dutch television show called "Spendor" It's on youtube. It is very cute and romantic. It's basically about a girl with two bi boyfriends. Type girlfag into utube and it will come up.
You sound here like you may all be young. I'd love to hear your comments because I've never had anyone I could talk about these feelings with. And if any of you are older, late thirties, over forty, fifties, I'd especially love to here from you.
Okay, I have never told anyone any of this before so here it goes. I should warn you there may be some not-so-nice things in here, so read with caution.
I am 19, male, and in college.
I grew up in one of those "Picture-perfect on the outside, severely abusive on the inside" families. On the outside, we were respectable baptists, always wore nice clothes to church every week. My mom worked at the christian school my two brothers and I attended, my dad had a good-paying job, and we were comparatively wealthy. On the inside, a living hell: My mother would scream, throw things at us, threaten violence (and sometimes more than threaten). I remember countless times when my mom told me to "lock the door to my room or else she might kill me". My two brothers constantly took out their frustration on me. I was the bottom of the totem-pole. When I wasn't being screamed at for tiny offenses like forgetting a sheet of paper at school or getting a B on a test (she regularly dumped out my backpack and went through everything and made me watch), I was mocked by my brothers (six years older than I) for constantly crying, forced to do household cleaning for hours on end, or just forgotten about completely. I could go into more detail but you get the picture.
On top of that, I hated being male. I would pray to God (who apparently hated me because I used the wrong tone of voice with my parents), to change my gender overnight. I plastered the walls of my room with pictures of kittens... Watched a whole load of anime. Me friends called me a "tom-girl". I hung out with girls a lot too, although since I was such an odd kid, I had a hard time being accepted by either gender (still do). I cross-dressed a little in private, but that's beside the point. Some of my earliest memories include imitating female characters from movies. I remember being mystified when I learned people actually changed gender altogether. Mind you this was when I was extremely young (I clearly remember things from when I was one, to give you an idea).
So I got older. My environment kind of sucked, and I repressed much of that desire, along with many other things. My family was staunchly baptist-conservative (rush limbough was always, always on. always), so I tried as hard as I could to be the same. I did all the things I was supposed to do. I hated liberals without knowing why, I went to church three times a week, got fairly good grades (although never straight A's until college, I wonder why). As I got older, I generally hung out with the "pot" crowd at school, but never anyone outside of school. My best friends were always girls though.
Fast-forward to college. I have a girlfriend now, who I have been dating a year and a half. My friends are still mostly girls. On my own for the first time, a whole lot of things started coming back. Good things, nightmare-ish things, and identity things. Along with this psychological torrent came dreams. When I dream now, I am exclusively female. When I have "those" types of dreams, it is lesbian in nature. This prompted a lot of thinking and researching.
When I think of myself as a female, it seems altogether natural. The thing is, it isn't so much a physical thing. It is emotional and psychological. I don't feel "trapped" in this body. In fact I somewhat like having a tastefully masculine appearance (of course, had I had a choice, I would have been female for sure). The thing is, I see myself as lesbian, and an andro at that. When I see lesbians, I do not feel "turned on" or sexually attracted, I feel a very strong sense of identification, like that should be me, but it isn't. I can handle that.
This is the closest thing I can find. I try to forget about it all together, but it keeps nagging at me. The dreams are what brought me to it. I was wondering if anyone knew what this was, and what I am supposed to do about it. The best way I can describe it is having two sides, male and female, but all are attracted to girls, so half of me is straight, half is lesbian. But the lesbian side gets larger and stronger with each day. At one point I thought I was a F2M cross-dresser in a male's body, but that sounded a little ridiculous. Maybe androgynous or something. I don't know. I can't stress enough though, this isn't physical. I am not "attracted to lesbians" like that. Its more identification with them.
If you need any questions answered, I would be happy to oblige. I feel like I have left much unexplained.
|Thursday, July 7th, 2011|
I'm really confused...
Hi, I would like to say that I am new here, I have been looking for a 'name' that fits me aand i've found it. GirlFag. I'm young, still in my teenage years and i have been looking for help, anywhere... I don't know how to handle this, or tell my family. I am girly. I love girly things like pink and hello kitty. But i noticed it first with Anime and Yaoi, Then i fell madly in love with the Japanese boys that look like girls and even to this day those are my favorite kind of guy. Pretty, girly, sexii.
But where i seem to differ from many other stories on here is that i am and have been with girls on many occasions and enjoyed it. Though I feel that I am a gay man, I am not a dominant personality, rather i enjoy the thought of being submissive under a beautiful man. Even though i would think that if i were in fact a boy, i would be bi because i do love girls. I do not know quite what seems to be wrong with me and i have no where else to turn, even my best friend is only Bi and doesn't understand me.
When i see two gay guys, i feel... empty... like that should be me. I want to be held by a man, but only AS a man. Now, i feel uncomfortable around men, like im not right, and i don't want a man to see me, so i stay with girls. In my heart i am a man, a girly, submissive man, but i do not know who to talk to or what to do. Could i ever be happy? Becoming a man would be nearly impossible and loving a gay man is hard when you're a woman and they don't like girls. I'm lost and i posted here, hoping maybe that i could make some friends or someone like me that i can talk too, because at this point, im just so depressed and i need help understanding myself better...
Email me;; Jinlover995@yahoo.com
|Monday, June 27th, 2011|
The Andro-Aperture Project and Heavenly Spire: Redefining the "Gaze"
Hey everyone -
I know not all of the girlfags in this group identify as women (partly or wholly), but at any rate I thought a few of these links would be of interest since they involve visuals of men in an erotic context. Enjoy!The Andro-Aperture Project
: From writer Kitty Stryker: "I believe male beauty should be embraced as widely and diversely as female beauty has come to be, and I’m ready to prove it as true." There are some really great articles here too confronting expectations and myths about visualizing men in this way, especially "but why?"
recommended reading!). Link Love: Inspirations
has some more stuff along the same lines, Filament Magazine
is one of my favorites.Heavenly Spire
(18+): "HeavenlySpire is a Shine Louise Houston creation for the purpose of masculine appreciation. HeavenlySpire focuses on masculine beauty and sexuality and how it manifests on different bodies. Following the same vision as Houston’s previous projects HeavelySpire focuses on capturing genuine pleasure with a unique cinematic style." The videos here are $20 a month to access but decent-length previews can be watched for free.
Anyone have similar recs of content created of men specifically for a female audience, or even a girlfag audience? To me, the growing creation of a variety of erotic images for a wide variety of audiences is very encouraging.
EDIT: Also, naked men, happy women
(NSFW) is another good one, whether you're a woman or not, lots of thought-provoking commentary on articles concerning aesthetic appreciation of the male body too.
|Friday, June 24th, 2011|
Hi everyone. I am really surprised to see that a community like this exists. I just thought I was an alien all this time :-P
I'm honestly not really sure how I got to this point. I think I have been feeling a long time unfulfilled desire to be treated as an equal by men. I can't seem to find that with your average straight guy; They either want to worship me or they want to coddle me and treat me like a child. I seem to attract the latter more than the former- overbearing, controlling men who never listen to me and treat me only a little better than they would a child. I guess it doesn't help that I'm about 5'3", have a name that rhymes with "candy" and have always been considered "cute". I hate that term. It's dismissive. It makes me wish I could have been born a boy instead of a girl- the only problem with that is that I am generally not very attracted to women...or is that a problem at all? I love gay men. They look me in the eyes when the speak to me. They also seem like they are having a lot more fun than I am. If I was a man in a world of all men, how could I ever be treated like 'just a girl'? I have generally been pretty comfortable being a girl- except for all of the times when straight men have made me feel considerably UNcomfortable about it. I can think of many incidences in my life when a straight man has ruined something for me by making me feel uncomfortable. Jobs, parties, special interest groups- all soiled at some point or other because some guy decided he'd be sneaky and pretend to be interested in what I have to say just so that he could get close enough to me to ask me out...or worse. I always have this sick feeling like straight men are trying to 'trick' me into sleeping with them...a notion that was actually confirmed by, you guessed it, a straight guy! I always appreciated the way hooking up in the gay community is much more straightforward: If you want to hook up, you go out to the gay bar or you go online and find someone. Gay men (from what I've observed) don't pretend to want to hang out and be friends to weasel their way into sex. If they want sex, they ask for it! Plain and simple.
Ok, I went off on a bit of a tangent there but I think you all get my point now. I don't want to give the impression that the only reason I consider myself a girlfag is because I'm a huge man-hater. I'm just sick of being treated so differently because I'm a girl. I don't want to change my sex because I know that I would never make a convincing male no matter how many hormone treatments I got but I'm currently working on losing weight and gaining more muscle. That at least will help a bit, I think.
|Wednesday, June 15th, 2011|
I've found a succinct explanation of my sexuality in a button...:
. Has anyone seen any other gear out there that appeals to girlfag and guydyke attraction?
|Thursday, June 9th, 2011|
Just joined this site. Pretty cool!! I am a bio male student from the Northwest. I'm really happy to see the potential for "girlfags", "guy dykes", and lgbt folk of ALL stripes to find each other.
Here's a question--sorry if it's too personal--but I'm really curious:
Do any girls like guys who are attracted to the transgendered community? I ask because I find myself in this case.
Saw this on Tumblr
, had to share...I think that the realization was difficult for me to grapple with at first but ultimately, my expression when contemplating my identity and attraction is a lot more pleasant than as seen in this drawing! The post got over 7,000 notes
, by the way.