slightlyeffete (slightlyeffete) wrote in girlfags,

My personal experience

Hey everyone. I'd like to give my two cents on this whole identity conception myself.

I'm a male, first of all. Always have identified as such and haven't questioned it. That being said, I'm a bit feminine in my demeanor. I'm quite polite and never really liked sport, preferring to engage in more 'feminine' pursuits such as theater and literature when I was in my early teens. I study social science right now which I suppose could be construed as being slightly feminine (but not excessively so).

Now, I've always known I've liked girls. What are the kind of girls I'm attracted to? I don't like ditsy, stupid hyper-feminine girls. I found it irksome in my teens (I'm 20 now) to see how all my straight-male peers were attracted to this image of femininity that I could not find real attraction towards. I found female, heteronormative hyper-femininity unappealing.

But here's the thing - I still like girls! I like feminine girls who are a bit more laid-back and 'guyish'. Going further down this spectrum leads me to girls who are a bit 'dykey'. I have a special place in my heart for the tomboyish girl. I just love girls who are 'handsome'! I like girls who are smart and driven and their own person, rather than being some nonentity.

Sometimes, I like the idea of being the active, dominant partner. But sometimes I just wanna cast all that off and be seen as passive and pretty by my female partner when in a submissive kind of mood. I'd love to have a partner who would understand this and be the same.

As for whether I like guys, well I kinda do. But I find women much more fulfilling. I've gotten with men (as in, older, masculine men) and regretted it and didn't feel right, although it's nice to feel fawned over. I do definitely find an attraction in very effeminate boys, they have the potential to rival the beauty of female or androgynous women.

I don't know whether I'd call myself a 'guydyke', but I certainly meet many of the requirements. I'm sexually fluid with an interest in queer culture. I'm attracted to women - and I could see myself with either a more androgynous one or a more feminine one, it would just depend on their personality :)

Feel free to comment/message me on this. I think the growth of these new labels is an exciting thing and would like to hear what others have to say.
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