The GirlFags Community|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
GirlFags and GuyDykes and and Friends and Lovers' LiveJournal:
[ << Previous 20 ]
[ << Previous 20 ]
|Wednesday, February 5th, 2014|
My personal experience
Hey everyone. I'd like to give my two cents on this whole identity conception myself.
I'm a male, first of all. Always have identified as such and haven't questioned it. That being said, I'm a bit feminine in my demeanor. I'm quite polite and never really liked sport, preferring to engage in more 'feminine' pursuits such as theater and literature when I was in my early teens. I study social science right now which I suppose could be construed as being slightly feminine (but not excessively so).
Now, I've always known I've liked girls. What are the kind of girls I'm attracted to? I don't like ditsy, stupid hyper-feminine girls. I found it irksome in my teens (I'm 20 now) to see how all my straight-male peers were attracted to this image of femininity that I could not find real attraction towards. I found female, heteronormative hyper-femininity unappealing.
But here's the thing - I still like girls! I like feminine girls who are a bit more laid-back and 'guyish'. Going further down this spectrum leads me to girls who are a bit 'dykey'. I have a special place in my heart for the tomboyish girl. I just love girls who are 'handsome'! I like girls who are smart and driven and their own person, rather than being some nonentity.
Sometimes, I like the idea of being the active, dominant partner. But sometimes I just wanna cast all that off and be seen as passive and pretty by my female partner when in a submissive kind of mood. I'd love to have a partner who would understand this and be the same.
As for whether I like guys, well I kinda do. But I find women much more fulfilling. I've gotten with men (as in, older, masculine men) and regretted it and didn't feel right, although it's nice to feel fawned over. I do definitely find an attraction in very effeminate boys, they have the potential to rival the beauty of female or androgynous women.
I don't know whether I'd call myself a 'guydyke', but I certainly meet many of the requirements. I'm sexually fluid with an interest in queer culture. I'm attracted to women - and I could see myself with either a more androgynous one or a more feminine one, it would just depend on their personality :)
Feel free to comment/message me on this. I think the growth of these new labels is an exciting thing and would like to hear what others have to say.
|Tuesday, December 17th, 2013|
Hello again :)
Haven't been on here for a looong while and just came back to being more active about the girlfag/guydyke-issue recently :)
I decided to put my collection of essays and articles and other stuff online again. So maybe some of you want to have a look
I would be happy about comments, ideas, corrections (also if you find language mistakes... I try to provide as much information in english as possible).
Hope you have a wonderful time.
|Saturday, November 23rd, 2013|
Taking the plunge.
Like many others, I'm amazed to find this place, happy to know I'm not alone.
So, wow... I have never talked to anybody about this before.
I was never a girly girl. I had a guy best friend growing up. I have always liked soft guys.
Since I was a teenager, I have usually found typical women, well... annoying. Which I feel really bad about, because it sounds small-minded and mean. But typical women have always felt like a club to which I will never belong.
I just... I just want so bad to be close to a guy who wants to feel pretty.
|Wednesday, August 7th, 2013|
Book Recommendation: Boys' Love Manga (even includes girlfags and guydykes in the last essay!)
I just finished reading Boys' Love Manga: Essays on the Sexual Ambiguity and Cross-Cultural Fandom of the Genre (it's available to buy digitally and physically on Amazon
; one can find out if itis in a nearby library on Worldcat). It has been awhile since I've read / looked at yaoi, but the title and the academic bent caught my eye, so I gave this one a go. If you can get past the over-the-top scholarly language of a few of the essays in the book ("Lacan"-this, "topos"-that), there is much material of interest to girlfags and those with similar identities, whether you are familiar with boys' love (BL) / shounen-ai / yaoi manga or not. Fan and author accounts of interest and creativity collide with academic theory here, and not always neatly (which is part of the fun). Many of the authors in the book easily see the queering of otherwise seen as straight women's sexuality and gender expression that is facilitated through reading and creating yaoi and related inspired works, and Western slash fanfiction is a not infrequent point of comparison.
The last essay even mentions girlfags and guydykes specifically: 'Hidden in Straight Sight: Trans*gressing Gender and Sexuality via BL' by Uli Meyer. Girlfags and transgender men who are gay (also known here as transfags) are seen as on a kind of continuum where the difference is one of degree (from simultaneous identification as a girl and as/with gay men to no identification to being wholly identified as a gay man, even seeking transition). I know of a girlfag or two, and a transman or two, who would have a bone to pick with this description for various reasons, but it may be helpful as a means of self-definition / understanding for those of us who first identified as girlfags, and then decided that genderqueer, transgender, FTM, or other terms were more appropriate instead of or in addition to girlfag (or vice versa). Meyer speaks of the importance in community-forming amongst gender and sexual minorities (the GirlFags Yahoo group is mentioned here). Later in the essay, guydykes and transdykes are mentioned in a passage about cosplaying and lesbian identification. Much of the essay is devoted to articulating the way that queer gender and sexuality possibilities are explored through yaoi and the fandom activities that derive from it.
There is a good review here that discusses some of the issues with this book: http://classic.tcj.com/manga/bl-roundtable-do-we-really-need-to-spill-this-much-ink-over-the-question-of-whether-girls-like-porn/
However, there are a lot of great talking points in here and much to relate to, so for anyone who has been interested in male/male pairings in media (the book even discusses lesbian identification in and interest of the format, which I was pleased and surprised about) and who has explored their sexuality through it, I would really recommend taking a look.
|Friday, January 25th, 2013|
Ladybear/girlbear and ladytwink/girltwink?
These words just popped into my head, although I'm sure someone out there has used them already. I don't identify as a girl in addition to gay male anymore (just gay male + genderqueer for me), but these terms are certainly up for grabs for anyone who feels "ah! that's me!," for how you see yourself and/or who you're attracted to. I'd love to hear others that are similar. :)
|Wednesday, November 14th, 2012|
So somebody on youtube posted that this song was the ultimate girlfag anthem. I wouldn't say that that is exactly true, but I thought you guys might like it.
Here it is, enjoy! :)
|Tuesday, October 30th, 2012|
I just seriously found out that there was a term for this while watching the L word, I though I was just weird. This is kind of amazing really to find this community now I know that I'm not weird just a little rare.
|Tuesday, August 21st, 2012|
Wow. I'm 18 years old, been like this since I was in middle school (the seventh grade to be exact) and I just found out that people have come up with a name for girls like me. I always figured there were a few girls somewhere, hidden in the little crevices of the world, that liked this sort of thing but I never thought I would hear about it. I guess it was just my way of making myself feel normal while being different from the majority of my society. I watch yaoi, gay porn, and even somehow explain my addictions in doing so to the two boyfriends that I have gotten in high school. They accepted me as I was and even understand my feelings towards gay males when I see them. Making comments such as "oh look at those guys. They're cute, huh? I like the tall one" in a shy/awkward way just so that I can feel accepted and not so weird. It's become a part of me and I've found that through the yaoi community there are many other girls who understand my attraction to animated gay relationships. They just don't transfer over to real men like I do. Actually seeing this community made me so excited and I have now joined live journal because of it. Thank you to all you wonderful girls for banning together and helping create a place where others like us can feel like they are not alone.
|Wednesday, July 18th, 2012|
Advice for a discouraged Girlfag?
So, I'm a 20 year old female and my entire life I just felt like something was off. My first relationship was with just about the nicest guy ever. We dated for three years, but it still felt like something was missing. As I time passed, I found myself constantly falling for gay and bi guys. I never wanted to admit that it was me though. My family is very religious and I was always afraid that they wouldn't take it well, so I just tried to ignore it and push my feelings aside. I finally met this great guy and everything was going amazing. I honestly thought he was "The One", if there is such a thing. And about three months into the relationship he tells me he thinks he's gay and he can't be with me. Honestly when he told me he was gay I responded "me too" xD Is that not the most frustrating thing ever? Has anyone else ever been in a situation like this? I'm really struggling with feeling like no one will ever be able to return my affections. It seems like everyone I fall for isn't interested in my outsides. Any advice or support? Current Mood: cranky
|Monday, July 9th, 2012|
Male interested in girlfags
Here's hoping this spot is still active!
I've been looking in from the outside for some time, I'm a 22 year old "pro girlfag" male. I love men yet at the same time I'm sold 100% on the ideas of girlfags, MMF, M/M exhibitionism and autoandrophilia; for me it's all really intruiging and super hot to think about, I would definitely call the gay exhibitionism part and the idea of a "gay male" romance with a girlfag my favorite fantasies. Perhaps it's time to start making this reality, if not to start some chats about it here at least!
|Tuesday, May 1st, 2012|
|Friday, March 9th, 2012|
Girlfags & boobs
So .. girlfags and boobs. Hm. What is your relationship with these spare bits of flesh?
I quite like them in a good bra - to have a feminine-looking cleavage and it's all natural. No hormones required.
But sometimes I think of them almost like "moobs", so I'm "male" and have taken loads of hormones and therefore have great boobs.
I feel like I'm a MfF transsexual but without all the effort that that usually requires. I pass perfectly as a woman.
But will never be one.
I'm very conscious that I am a poof. I like that - I would like to reclaim that word, if I may. I talk, move, walk like a gay male. Actually I walk and move like a man. I always have. Even though I am not butch. Not in any way shape or form. That is what I can't get my head around. Apart from I swear a lot and like to be one of the guys sometimes. So ok, maybe a little. "Normal" girls often see me as quite butch anyway.
I'm so jealous of gay men that they get to be gay men. I like to watch films and read books with homoerotic/homosexual themes. But it is always accompanied by sadness. Sadness that I have to apply imagination and mental effort to be able to live that as me.
So that's what I got from my boobs and thinking about what they mean to me, which is often nothing really. I don't have much feeling in them and I'm often quite bemused that they are there. They're nice to squeeze. But I'm glad they're small. Very fucking glad actually. So that's me and my boobs. yay. :) Current Mood: thoughtful
|Saturday, February 18th, 2012|
New to the girlfag community
Hello all! I've been struggling with my sexuality/gender for several years now and was recommended to the girlfag community by a friend to help me find my answers.
I am 20 years old, a student in an American university studying mathematics, and intern at Merrill Lynch.
Growing up, there was always something different about me. My earliest memories are dressing up in my sister's clothes and in kindergarten, I would daydream about turning into a girl. As a teen, instead of sexually fantasizing about females, I would fantasize about transforming into a girl. I began to experiment with crossdressing and I loved it. I never developed the normal sexual feelings towards women, although I will say that I am attracted to women more so than men. Instead, when I see a pretty girl I want to be her instead of have sex with her.
It's been a very hard life because my sexuality is in such conflict and incongruence with my otherwise male identity. I am successful, educated, handsome, and athletic, yet at the same time, I have the internal desire to be female.
I would love to meet a female who could accommodate my unique gender and sexual needs. I am extremely open minded and accepting of anyone else's unique circumstances and desires as well.
I want to meet more guydykes and girlfags so please feel free to contact me on livejournal or at email@example.com and I'd be happy to share my pictures and more information about myself.
|Thursday, February 16th, 2012|
|Wednesday, February 15th, 2012|
New cover and two weeks to go!
To my friends, family, colleagues and supporters:
With just two weeks to go, we’re past halfway in our fund-raising project for Girlfag: A Life Told In Sex and Musicals... but we’re going to need a big last-minute push to take us over our goal amount of $7500.
Fortunately, we now have a great new tool to help with this project – an absolutely gorgeous cover by my longtime collaborator John Brenner of Johnny Ink, which you can see here. Hope you like it!
However, new donations have slowed down in the last week, and if we don’t get a kick of new people in the next couple of weeks we may miss our $7500 goal. Now, don’t get me wrong – I am going to publish this book anyway, somehow. But in order to do it justice – to back it with the marketing, PR and merchandising it needs to reach its intended audience of people who don’t feel comfortable with traditional categories of gender and orientation – we need to raise that money.
So, please: If there’s any way you can help – by donating what you can spare, by telling friends who might be interested, by posting our link (www.facebook.com/groups/266988160014719/
) to your Facebook page, or anything else you can think of – now’s the time to do it!
And, as if you needed any more incentive... if you refer a friend who donates at least $50, you’ll qualify for a free Girlfag patch. Just ask your friend to drop me a note along with their donation so I know who’s responsible.
So stop by now to the Kickstarter page at www.kickstarter.com/projects/janetwhardy/g
irlfag-a-life-told-in-sex-and-musicals . You’ll find everything you need – a complete description, some excerpts, and a nice big picture of the cover – plus a wide range of awesome incentives to loosen the strings on your wallet. Plus, of course, the knowledge that you’ve helped bring important new information into the world of sexuality and relationships (and, of course, musical theater)!
Thanks to you all,
Janet W. Hardy
|Sunday, February 12th, 2012|
|Sunday, February 5th, 2012|
|Friday, February 3rd, 2012|
|Monday, January 30th, 2012|
Virgin Cherry Post!
Squee! This is a happy place! Hmm… I’m kind of androgynous. I only date bi guys, or guys that consider themselves primarily gay, though I have made exceptions with bi-curious guys! I seriously ask before I will go out with them! :D Current Mood: happy
I pal around fine with straight guys who usually just see me as one of them and therefore tend not to censor their conversations around me We seem to have 0 attraction for each other, which is perfect in my opinion as they aren’t my type. :)
I just don’t get along with straight women. I have tried and tried to understand them and they remain forever a mystery to me. It is like they sense I am not one of them and it weird’s them out or something like that. :/
My friends point out gay news bits and head me toward gay male oriented movies! When it pops up on Netflix as recommended everyone knows which is mine! ;P
I don’t consider myself ftm, as I think I am more of an androgyne. When I dress normally it’s like a boy, and I’ve got tips from my bois how to be more guy! lol!
My last boyfriend thought I was transsexual mtf when he met me and I’ve been called a drag queen before when I go dressed out as a girl! ha ha!
I’ve also worked in an all male drag bar! (well mostly as I was there) I am that much of a girl fag! :D
I am looking forward to reading the posts here! I think that you are all awesome!!!
|Saturday, January 21st, 2012|
Please help make "Girlfag" a reality!
To my friends, family, colleagues and supporters:
As many of you know, I have spent the last several years working on a book called "Girlfag: A Life Told In Sex and Musicals." A "girlfag," says Wikipedia, is "a biologically female individual who feels a strong romantic or erotic attraction towards gay or bisexual men, or their social environment." (Her biologically male equivalent is called a "guydyke.")
I started working on "Girlfag" while working on my MFA, and have continued to shape it since then. The book is partly a personal memoir and partly an exploration of the whole idea of girlfags, including such historical figures as Pharaoh Hatchepsut, George Sand and Mary Renault. And it has lots and lots of musical theater, because that's just the kind of girl(fag) I am.
I've decided to bring my twenty years of small publishing expertise to bear on making "Girlfag" a reality this year. Toward that end, I have founded a new publishing company, Beyond Binary Books, which will publish literary works from the edges of conventional categories of gender, orientation, race and class. "Girlfag" will be its first publication in the fall of this year.
Although my years in small publishing have taught me how to wring a lot of juice out of a small amount of money, this project does require some funding. That's why I'm asking for your help.
I've started a Kickstarter crowdsourcing site for the Girlfag project, at http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/janetwhardy/girlfag-a-life-told-in-sex-and-musicals
. Here are some of the things you can do to help move this project to completion:
1. Be a backer! Even if you only have a dollar or two to spare, every little bit helps -- and I've provided incentives ranging from signed postcards to personal appearances, for every possible level of participation. Becoming a backer at any level will ensure that you're kept posted on the progress of the book from manuscript to finished publication.
2. Boost the signal! At the end of this email, I'll provide a short note that you can:
- forward to your personal or business mailing list
- include in your newsletter
- post on your Facebook, Myspace or Livejournal page
- share on Fetlife and other social sites dedicated to alternative sexual and relationship structures
- discuss with your clients, students and friends
3. Tell your friends! Help me build buzz about girlfags and guydykes in general, and this book in particular. The more people that know we exist, the greater the audience for the book (and the more options for relationships that meet the needs of people who aren't well served by traditional categories).
Thank you for anything you can do, and for being a part of my life.
Janet W. Hardy
I'd like you to take a look at the Kickstarter site for a new book project written by my colleague Janet Hardy, the co-author of the well-known polyamory guidebook "The Ethical Slut," at http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/janetwhardy/girlfag-a-life-told-in-sex-and-musicals
. I know you're a person with an interest in literature and/or alternative sexuality and relationship structures, and I hope you'll be able to help Janet bring her book to the world.